Weeing During Sex? Here's What To Do About It
So you're experiencing bladder leaks during sex... you're not alone. Worrying about wetting ourselves during what's meant to be an intimate and pleasurable experience is the very last thing we want. As with all types of incontinence, leaks during sex is very common but it doesn't have to be your normal.
What is urinary incontinence?
When you need to urinate, the bladder muscles tighten and urine is forced out through the urethra. At the same time, the muscles around your urethra relax to allow the stream of urine out the body. Leakage happens when the bladder muscles tighten suddenly and the urethra muscles aren't strong enough to stop the flow. This can happen when you sneeze, laugh, exercise or even when you're sleeping. You might leak a little or a lot each time.
Types of urinary incontinence
Stress incontinence – This is the most common type of urinary incontinence experienced and is caused by an increase of stress on the bladder and urethra. This stress can be caused by a weak pelvic floor, which means your bladder and urethra have to work harder than they normally would. Leaking when coughing, sneezing or laughing are tell-tale signs of stress incontinence.
Urge incontinence – Otherwise known as an overactive bladder, urge incontinence causes strong and sudden urges to urinate. This usually means you don’t have time to make it to the toilet and when you get there you don’t wee much. This usually happens more than 6-8 times a day.
It's also possible to struggle with both types and this is known as ‘mixed incontinence’.
What causes urine leakage during sex?
As much as 60% of women with incontinence experience urine leakage during sexual activity, when having an orgasm or both. Sexual stimulation can put pressure on the bladder and urethra, this coupled with weak pelvic floor muscles can mean that urine leaks can happen.
Urination or orgasm?
Weeing during sex is a common concern which is mainly a female issues because male bodies have a natural mechanism that prevents urination if they have an erection. Some women who worry they might be urinating might actually be experiencing female ejaculation instead.
There is a lot of conflicting information and research surrounding female ejaculation, some claiming that the fluid expelled by some women at orgasm is urine and only urine. Other researchers argue that the fluid is actually similar to male ejaculate. Women have a group of glands around the outside of the urethra called the Paraurethral glands or Skene glands which is where researchers think this female ejaculate is produced to help moisten the urethra and vagina.
Urinary incontinence treatment
There are a selection of treatment options available and the most appropriate ones depend on the type and the cause of your incontinence. Surgical options should always be a last resort with all non-surgical options exhausted before surgery is considered. Why not try these lifestyle changes first?
- Kegel exercises – Those with stress incontinence might find that strengthening their pelvic floor with Kegel exercises will help ease symptoms of incontinence. Strengthening his muscle will mean there's less stress on the bladder and urethra. Why not try our 6 Step Pelvic Floor Exercise Kit to help you along?
- Bladder training – Bladder training can be helpful for some people with urinary incontinence. Things like setting times when you use the toilet every day can help retrain your body to a healthier toilet schedule.
- Loosing extra weight – Shedding a few extra pounds is never a bad idea but it could help bladder problems by reducing the amount of stress there is on the bladder itself and the urethra.
- Treating constipation – the straining associated with constipation can weaken the muscles and lead to leakage issues. By treating the constipation, you reduce this straining and subsequent weakening. AND always use a stool when doing a poo! Protect your pelvic floor.
We recommend all women to see a pelvic floor physio, whether you have a problem or not, seeing a pelvic floor physio should be as common as going to the dentist or opticians. Pelvic floor physios are the experts and the very best people to help you with your pelvic floor dysfunction like incontinence and weeing during sex.
Communication is key
Bladder leaks during sex can wreak havoc on your mental health and intimacy with your partner. One of the best things you can do is to communicate with your partner about the problem and how it makes you feel. It's estimated that only 9% of people with the condition would open up to their partner about it. Being open and honest will help you feel more comfortable and make your sex life much more enjoyable. If certain positions or activities make your condition worse then be sure to let your partner know if you’d rather avoid them, because it doesn't just mean penetration after all.
We hope you enjoyed this blog, why not check out Want A Better Sex Life? Start Doing Kegel Exercises – SecretWhispers™ or Everything You Need To Know About Kegel Weights – SecretWhispers™
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